Reflections

Uncertainty and Faith..

And the uncertainty hits

again!
All the doubts
all the what-ifs
all the anxiety
all the feelings of worthlessness
all the negative crippling thoughts
they all come crawling back..

Endless possibilities
this future holds,
but can see only darkness..
What if the one dream I was holding on to didnt come true
what if I couldn’t clear the exam
what if I didnt get it?
what then?
Hadn’t thought of what next,
was trying to give the best shot at it,
and now…
this sick feeling in the stomach
dunno how to stop the mind
from goin on about ‘what if, what if’..

Couldn’t take it anymore
so I cry, letting it all out..
in the night,
again as the morning comes
still feeling hopeless
the tears keep flowing
still so scared
this uncertainty!
All i could feel was the ache
as if it was never goin to end
as if my worst fears were goin to come true..
So i cried my heart out,
hiding away from everyone.

And just then
i felt my own heartbeat
(maybe from crying so much?!)
just one beat
that i was completely aware of..
and I remembered what I had learnt
how the heart pumps the blood
continuously
from the moment we are born,
continuously 
it keeps beating,
one moment at a time..
‘Just keep doing your work
one moment at a time..’
it would say..

And i smiled..
My heart gave me hope! 😀
brought me in the present moment
instead of getting all panicky about the future,
Focus on the Now.
Coz the future is always goin to be uncertain,
endless possibilities,
what we think would happen
what we want to happen
all that
might or might not happen,
sometimes entirely different thing happens
which ultimately is for our own best only..

2 years back or even a year back,
i hadnt even thought or imagined
i would be at this point in my life
where i am now..
But right now, it all seems perfect,
whatever happened makes perfect sense.
So whatever happens might be for the best,
might make perfect sense later on..

Right now,
one moment at time,
along with the heartbeat! 😉

To add a clićhe,
Go with the flow!
[Just like the blood flows in ur body, unstoppable 😉 lol]


Every time..that you wake up breathing..
Every night..when you close your eyes..
Everyday..that your heart keeps beating..
There’s purpose for your life..
So don’t give up!
Don’t lay down!
Just hold on,
Don’t quit now!
Every breath that you take..has meaning..
You are
 here for a reason..
You are..here for a reason

{Another beautiful song of theirs}

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