And the uncertainty hits
All the doubts
all the what-ifs
all the anxiety
all the feelings of worthlessness
all the negative crippling thoughts
they all come crawling back..
this future holds,
but can see only darkness..
What if the one dream I was holding on to didnt come true
what if I couldn’t clear the exam
what if I didnt get it?
Hadn’t thought of what next,
was trying to give the best shot at it,
this sick feeling in the stomach
dunno how to stop the mind
from goin on about ‘what if, what if’..
Couldn’t take it anymore
so I cry, letting it all out..
in the night,
again as the morning comes
still feeling hopeless
the tears keep flowing
still so scared
All i could feel was the ache
as if it was never goin to end
as if my worst fears were goin to come true..
So i cried my heart out,
hiding away from everyone.
And just then
i felt my own heartbeat
(maybe from crying so much?!)
just one beat
that i was completely aware of..
and I remembered what I had learnt
how the heart pumps the blood
from the moment we are born,
it keeps beating,
one moment at a time..
‘Just keep doing your work
one moment at a time..’
it would say..
And i smiled..
My heart gave me hope! 😀
brought me in the present moment
instead of getting all panicky about the future,
Focus on the Now.
Coz the future is always goin to be uncertain,
what we think would happen
what we want to happen
might or might not happen,
sometimes entirely different thing happens
which ultimately is for our own best only..
2 years back or even a year back,
i hadnt even thought or imagined
i would be at this point in my life
where i am now..
But right now, it all seems perfect,
whatever happened makes perfect sense.
So whatever happens might be for the best,
might make perfect sense later on..
one moment at time,
along with the heartbeat! 😉
To add a clićhe,
Go with the flow!
[Just like the blood flows in ur body, unstoppable 😉 lol]
Every time..that you wake up breathing..