Music I Love, Reflections

Uncertainty and Faith..

And the uncertainty hits 

All the doubts 
all the what-ifs 
all the anxiety 
all the feelings of worthlessness 
all the negative crippling thoughts 
they all come crawling back.. 
Endless possibilities 
this future holds, 
but can see only darkness.. 
What if the one dream I was holding on to didn’t come true 
what if I couldn’t clear the exam 
what if I didn’t get it? 
what then? 
Hadn’t thought of what next, 
was trying to give the best shot at it, 
and now… 
this sick feeling in the stomach 
dunno how to stop the mind 
from goin on about ‘what if, what if’.. 
Couldn’t take it anymore 
so I cry, letting it all out.. 
in the night, 
again as the morning comes 
still feeling hopeless 
the tears keep flowing 
still so scared 
this uncertainty! 
All i could feel was the ache 
as if it was never goin to end 
as if my worst fears were goin to come true.. 
So i cried my heart out, 
hiding away from everyone. 
And just then 
i felt my own heartbeat 
(maybe from crying so much?!) 
just one beat 
that i was completely aware of.. 
and I remembered what I had learnt 
how the heart pumps the blood 
from the moment we are born, 
it keeps beating, 
one moment at a time.. 
‘Just keep doing your work 
one moment at a time..’ 
it seemed to be saying.. 
And i smiled.. 
My heart gave me hope! 
brought me in the present moment 
instead of getting all panicky about the future, 
Focus on the Now. 
Coz the future is always goin to be uncertain, 
endless possibilities, 
what we think would happen 
what we want to happen 
all that 
might or might not happen, 
sometimes entirely different thing happens 
which ultimately is for our own best only.. 
2 years back or even a year back, 
i hadn’t even thought or imagined 
i would be at this point in my life 
where i am now.. 
But right now, it all seems perfect, 
whatever happened makes perfect sense. 
So whatever happens might be for the best, 
might make perfect sense later on.. 
Right now, 
one moment at time, 
along with the heartbeat! 
To add a clićhe, 
Go with the flow! 
[Just like the blood flows in your body, unstoppable 😉 lol] 

Every time..that you wake up breathing.. 
Every night..when you close your eyes.. 
Everyday..that your heart keeps beating.. 
There’s purpose for your life.. 
So don’t give up! 
Don’t lay down! 
Just hold on, 
Don’t quit now! 
Every breath that you take..has meaning.. 
You are
here for a reason.. 
You for a reason… 
{Another beautiful song of theirs}

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