Reflections

Understanding choices

I discuss things with him, to their roots.. to understand, to reconnect..

P: “If you made other’s choice as your choice, would there be anger?”

A: “But how to make their choice as my own choice?”

P: “If there are two dresses, blue and red, and if I suggest to you that the blue one suits you, which would you buy?”

A: “Blue one, coz I like blue colour too.”

P: “So your choice and my choice became same and there’s no anger, no rebellion. That’s how it is in other situations too. If you accept their choice as your choice, then there’s never anger.”

A: “But does it mean accepting all choices by whatever anyone and everyone says?”

P: “No, you still get to choose the person you care enough to make their choice your choice. Bcoz when we put conditions on something , and then it doesn’t happen, we get angry. Why put conditions at all?”

A: “That’s all okay in theory, but how to apply it in real..in a situation? I always forget, later I do realise.. How do you never get angry on me?”

P: “It comes with understanding. Bcoz I understand, there’s an acceptance that whatever it is that you choose or decide, is my choice too.”

How was I this silly?

To want and insist and make it all conditional..

P: “This is how we learnt from our upbringing, everything conditional — first do this, then, only then you’ll get that. Everything, every motivation was a transaction. But we can change it, we don’t need to be like that.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Featured image: Photo by Aditi B.

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