I’m neither here nor there.
I left that home long back,
and i don’t belong to this ‘would-be’ new home yet.
I’m neither here nor there.
Uncertainty in every aspect of life.
The certainty, the known is so warm, comfortable.
This not-knowing brings a dark feeling.
Loneliness wraps itself around me like a blanket,
it’s comfortable for tonight.
Tomorrow, i have things to do, all the daily routine of work
and coming back to an empty room.
But tonight, i want to dream.
Of a home of my own.
A place i decorate in a way i want,
not to have to adjust from all the old and previous things that they have.
I want to decorate and put my own essence to it.
But it makes me sad coz that’s never going to happen.
Even after i ‘belong’ to the new home.
But tonight, i can dream.
Of a place with books and soft textures,
with lots of sunlight through the windows
and flowers in pots.
Uncertainty can stay if it wants,
doesn’t matter any more,
coz i have these dreams
of my own beautiful place
that i can call home..
aditi premankit 