I don’t know where i’m going or where i’m supposed to be going. I just wanted to have a validation of this was the path i was meant to walk on, but seems like i need to trust myself and the validation is needed from me more than from others. I’ve never cared about rules and what other people follow or do in their lives, and i’ve broken more rules and done things that i can’t go back to living how i used to be, like a proper obedient daughter, student, or that goody two shoes obedient girl.
Most of the times, my cynicism and hatred for life or living this life, stems from that. I wanted a path, the one that i can call my path, but i’ve taken so many routes, changed paths so many times, that now i don’t know if this path is what i’m meant to walk. i have no idea. and no one tells me. and i dont want anyone to tell me. i just want my heart to tell that to me, that it’s okay. i’m not even getting some alone me-time these days, how will i listen to my heart amidst all this noise and people? it’s so irritating!
and my heart stays silent even at night. so i let it be. let it indulge in this.