Reflections

Fall and shatter

Closing curtains,
doors.
Hiding in the room,
away from the world
from everyone..
So tired
of everything..
Wanting to break or destroy something..
i stay away from people
not wanting to hurt them..

and i know
the one that needs breaking
is me.
i need to fall
and shatter
into pieces..

why do i become like this again
and again?

how do i break off of myself?
prisoned in the invisible walls
of my own mind,
i’m not so good as they think i am
i’m not so good as i make them believe i am
i’m not so good as i make myself believe i am.

at times like this
i feel dead,
i want to sit at a graveyard or cemetery
and watch those bodies burn.
coz i burn within.
i feel dead,
not the beauty that life is..

like a fallen dry
decaying
leaf.

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