~ days go by here i am going through this life’s maze. no way in or out. just keep going in circles and squares. no one to hear your screams or your silent sobs. physical tiredness and continuous running around in the maze makes you dizzy utterly detached. not even death can cure this anymore.… Continue reading Rules in the maze
Month: May 2017
Help me see myself – Music
“People change, as does everything.. I wanted to grow old.. I just want to grow old.. Help me see myself, coz i can no longer tell.. Looking from the inside of the bottom of the well.. It’s hell.. I yell.. But no one hears, before i disappear.. Whisper in my ear, Give me something to… Continue reading Help me see myself – Music
Violence
sometimes.. violence is not a slap or pulling the trigger. sometimes, violence is in the words and the tone of voice. in the rudeness and ordering someone to follow what they want to do. i could feel it like a whiplash. a moment’s unawareness and you dont even know how your forcing someone to do… Continue reading Violence
Late night confessions
I don’t know where i’m going or where i’m supposed to be going. I just wanted to have a validation of this was the path i was meant to walk on, but seems like i need to trust myself and the validation is needed from me more than from others. I’ve never cared about rules… Continue reading Late night confessions
Same old madness – Music
I can’t find the joy within in my soul.. It’s just sadness takin’ hold.. I wanna come in from the cold.. And make myself renewed again.. It takes strength to live this way.. The same old madness everyday.. I wanna kick these blues away away.. I wanna learn to live again.. It’s a dark road..
Destructiveness
Heavy rain, thunder and storm. I used to love the fragility and beauty of nature. But this, wrath of nature, the scarier looking winds and rain together..as if bound to destroy something. The long trees trying to stay put against the strong wind, the sound of thunder and lightning now and then. People running and… Continue reading Destructiveness
midnights
midnights call me to write.. something about the darkness, quietness and being alone.. lots of unwritten, unsaid things and thoughts want to get out there on the roof and shout out to the world. but can't, so i write in intangible ways beating about the bush instead of saying what i want instead of writing… Continue reading midnights
Fall and shatter
Closing curtains, doors. Hiding in the room, away from the world from everyone.. So tired of everything.. Wanting to break or destroy something.. i stay away from people not wanting to hurt them.. and i know the one that needs breaking is me. i need to fall and shatter into pieces.. why do i become… Continue reading Fall and shatter
Life
Life Life Life Life Life Life Why are you living, Life?
Altered – Quote
“When you see something, it can’t be unseen. When you hear a sound, it can never be unheard. I know, deep down, that this evening I have learned something that can never be unlearned. And the part of my world that is altered will never be the same.” (in the book, Flawed.) ~ some words… Continue reading Altered – Quote
Outer and inner
Outside in the campus.. quiet huge shady trees birds chirping flowers too all so well-maintained so fresh and feel-good.. And inside.. Humans swarming like ants. Sick, diseased. So many. Frustrated doctors trying to treat them as fast as they could. The smell, the atmosphere. Everything going to decay.. And the contrast.. between the outer and… Continue reading Outer and inner
Musical music – Music
this musical music and solitude weave a web of such tranquility..