Tiredness of the day
followed by no rest
followed by two looming deadlines
on two consecutive days,
followed by not feeling like eating anything,
followed by three consecutive memories of the past,
followed by grief and sadness along with tiredness,
all this…along with writing and doing what needed to be done..
it seemed too much..
seemed like it was all crashing and closing in around you..
so all you can do is get some air,
going out and listening to music
that helps to let those tears out,
to fall on your knees and look at the sky
to surrender and ask for help
coz you can’t take it anymore..
and that inner voice,
“Nothing’s crashing in on you,
you’ve to crash it all instead
and rest in who you are..
memories are of past, doesn’t exist in the now….crash it..
tiredness is of the body, which is nothing but ashes…crash it..
deadlines are not the problem, its your wanting to finish it on time
(why? to impress them or to make yourself feel important?! *slap*)
what if you didn’t finish? just see what happens..
so what if they shout or insult.. it would hurt your ego
but would it ever affect who you really are?
so deadlines…crash it..
and the remedy for tiredness after too much exhaustion
is sleep and rest..
So sleep.. and rest in who you are..
just be..
and crash all the rest of it…”
*bows in silence to wherever that inner voice comes from*
and a prayer….
[Give me the supreme courage of love, this is my prayer — the courage to speak, to do, to suffer at thy will, to leave all things or be left alone.
Strengthen me on errands of danger, honor me with pain, and help me climb to that difficult mood which sacrifices daily to thee.
Give me the supreme confidence of love, this is my prayer — the confidence that belongs to life in death, to victory in defeat, to the power hidden in frailest beauty, to that dignity in pain which accepts hurt but disdains to return it.
~ Rabindranath Tagore]