And the result is…

Heart beating so fast

as I stared at the screen,
the result was out,
the most awaited one..
What would be it?
I didnt want to open and look,
I wished someone else would do that for me,
but it wasnt like back in the hostel
when we’d tell eachother the result and be happy with the ones who passed
and console or even cry with the ones who failed..

Here, at this hour,
I had to open it and see..
And i did.

I checked, once, twice, thrice..
And my heart sank..
Just in a few moments
my heart went from
beating so fast to sinking too deep..
I checked again..
My roll number wasn’t listed.
The sooner I accept that, lesser would be the hurt..
I knew that, but well, its difficult to accept that..

So instead I roll over my bed
and wallow in self-pity,
in self-criticism,
in self-everything,
and cry..

First all that marriage-pressure,
now the result..
Why doesnt anything go the way I want?
Atleast once..
Maybe I should give up?
Or give in?
Or try again?
What am i to dooo?

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”  – Lewis Carroll

“Truth is MDS is the best thing for you.. Believe in it man! that is your wild.. that’s all i always want you to see!”, 
I remember what one of my best friend told me.
And i do believe..
Maybe i’ll keep giving these exams
until i die
or until i get it..
I won’t give up..

You fall down,
You make mistakes,
You cry,
You wallow..
But remember,
listen to your heart..
Is it still beating?
Then dont give up on your dreams,
on what you had decided,
no matter what
no matter how many times you fall or fail,
get up and start walking,
and some day, you’ll reach there…

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