Reflections

These emotions…

The evening grew darker, 

and too much artificial lights, 
still I walk, 
keep walking, 
wanting some quietness 
some darkness, 
to just sit down 
and feel these emotions 
as they take a grip on me 
as I feel them washing inside of me.. 
 
Wishing I could stop them 
wishing I could stop feeling them, 
but can’t. 
So i feel.. 
I feel these intense emotions 
as i walk, 
again aware of all that’d come with them, 
again aware of how it’d make me feel.. 
Can’t stop them, 
So i feel..
And they blow inside of me,
all over again,
like every time,
and all i could ask was ‘Why???’
Why do i feel them so much?
Why do they keep coming back?
Why so intense?
Why cant I control them?
Why do they burn inside of me?
Whyy??
When will it all stop?
Why do i keep goin round n round in circles?
Forgetting everything,
giving n giving,
and then realizing the mistake i made when these emotions hit me,
when these feelings drag me down…
Forgetting what I should remember the most – who I am..
When will I learn?
Why do I keep forgetting?
Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes??
Is there any way out?
Or am i trapped in these circles forever??
 
No answers
No questions anymore either,
“Just be”,
I whisper, as I breathe in deeply
and let that breathe out gently..
So I feel,
feel those intense emotions burning inside..
No more questions,
Only feeling them..
(A realization later on – Don’t know why I was afraid to feel these emotions…coz its not like they would have burned me from inside in reality. Maybe that’s what i was afraid of, that feeling those emotions would be the end of me…whereas in reality, it isn’t.
‘Never forget where you came from, never forget who you really are, and try piercing thru the layers of false identities coz the past is gone and just a story you’re holding on to...’
This is what i need to remember!)

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