Music I Love, Reflections

Beyond Fears…

Sitting on the edge 
of the terrace 
of a 4-storey building, 
looking down at the land below 
looking ahead at the city zooming in front 
looking up at the vast cloudy sky…. 
 
she felt something 
couldn’t name it… 
 
 
And then she stood up on the edge 
at first she didn’t want to 
but then she thought 
‘why the heck not! 
if not now then when!’ 
 
and she stood up on the edge 
feeling fear mixed with excitement.. 
and a thought… 
what if she fell down 
what if she died…
 
 
and she smiled
somehow
she felt content
coz she had no regrets
for the life
she had…
whatever happened
or didn’t happen..
all the people she met
or didn’t meet
all the places she went
or didn’t go
all the things she did
or didn’t do..

 

‘coz nothing mattered..

 

nothing at all..


"so why do we keep up this charade,

and how do we tell apart

the time to leave from the time to wait,

what does tomorrow want from me,

what does it matter what i see,

if it can’t be my design

tell me 

where do we draw the line..."



(Poets of the Fall - Where do we draw the line)
 
 
She didn’t feel afraid of anything
these days,
she didn’t know why..
there wasn’t fear of anything
she could walk on the edge of the terrace
she could run untill her body collapsed
she could stand in the hailstorm’s pouring rain
and the chilling wind blowing by..

 

she wasn’t afraid…

but she was tired
so very tired of everything…

 

too much people
too much noise
too much visuals
too much hurry
too much expectations
too much..everything..

everything was just too much..
but she kept going
through it all….
coz what was this life anyways..
 
 
she used to think life was a mystery,
something beautiful yet unknown…
but now she knew better…
 
 
Life was an illusion..
Everything was illusion..
what was real then?!
she didn’t know
and she had to search
and find it…
and maybe that’s why
she was becoming 
more spiritual these days..
searching within..
 
Coz beyond the fears
beyond the illusions
there was a peaceful place…
 
Like Rumi said

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I will meet you there..

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.. 
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn’t make any sense..

 
 
 

Photo by Aditi B.

 
 
 
 

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