Don’t wanna grow up…

All day long 
this same feeling 
gnawing 
still gnawing inside her..

 

“I don’t wanna grow up, 
why do I have to..” 

 

 

Feeling emotionally drained 
and now physically too.. 

Tired.. 

She was tired of everything 
and everyone.. 
even Nature didn’t help her today 
and as the night grew darker 
she felt all the more exhausted.. 

 

And the words of the song 

Given and Denied by Poets of The Fall 

made her feeling even more intense… 

 

Give me back my innocence ‘cause I wish to dream again..
Like I never outgrew my old playground..
Where the sun sets slowly with a golden crown..
and the leaves sing lullabies ’round vacant swings..

Give me those wings..

Let me fly once again..
Like I did way back when..
I would gamble and win…

To lift me high above the din..

Oh the future we see
Does it hold something for me??
I’m weightless again..
Just before the shadows..

 

Fall like a leaf in the wind on the ocean..
Of blue like your eyes in the twilight theater..
With symphonies playing in the world without sound..
We’re given and denied….

 

She didn’t want to grow up
but she had grown up
so many years had passed by
and everyone expected her to act and be like an adult
be mature and understanding..

But she didn’t want to..
“Give me back my innocence coz I wish to dream again..”

 

“Give me those wings..
Let me fly once again..
Like I did way back…when i’d gamble and win..”

 

“Oh the future we see, does it hold something for me??
And i’m weightless again…”

 

But why was it that she didn’t want to grow up?
She herself didn’t know..

 

Maybe it was because of everything going on around her..
The constant state she’d stay in when at home..

She didn’t understand all the rationalized reasons

that her parents tell her,
she tried understanding but she can’t,
its out of her grasp..

 

“And if that’s the real world adults live in,

I never ever wanna grow up and be like them.

I’m fine the way I am, thank you very much.”

she spoke but there wasnt anyone in the room..

 

Alone like always..
And the gnawing feeling tugging her heart..

She was better off in her dream world
but that bubble had busted
and she couldn’t even go back..

 

She smiled all day long
not allowing anyone to peek inside
‘cause she didnt want anyone’s advice..

She’d had enough now..

 

She was going back in her dream world
and she didn’t care
if that would upset her parents or anyone else..
She had enough of every-frigging-thing..

 

 

 

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