Numb Paradise…

       Welcome back to reality, she thought, as she grudingly woke up from the sleep, still sleepy and drained. But her mom had woken her up twice and now the third time she got a warning so she ‘had’ to wake up…even though all she wanted was to go back to sleep…into the blackness, into the dreamworld which was unlike reality..  And she remembered that song, Paradise by Coldplay.

 

When she was just a girl..
She expected the world..
But it flew away from her reach..
So she ran away in her sleep..
Dreamed of para- para- paradise..
Para- para- paradise..
Para- para- paradise..
Every time she closed her eyes..
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh..

When she was just a girl..
She expected the world..
But it flew away from her reach..
And the bullets catch in her teeth..

Life goes on..
It gets so heavy..
The wheel breaks the butterfly..
Every tear, a waterfall..
In the night, the stormy night..
She closed her eyes..
In the night, the stormy night..
Away she’d fly…

And dreamed of para- para- paradise..
Para- para- paradise..
Para- para- paradise..

 

These days everything seemed to go wrong.. She hated being at home now coz all everyone ever talked here about was her weight and how she should lose it. Why should she? To get “married” to a so-called guy who’d look at her and select her?! ‘No, thank you very much…i’m not how I look, I go much deeper than that..’, she thought, getting enraged again. She didnt want to get married, she didnt want to get slim, why cant she be the way she was. Why hiding? Why changing? Why all facade??

        Reality was hitting her hard again and she found herself wanting to run away, or fly…if only she could. Why…why was the world like this? Whole day had passed like that…seemed like all her mom could talk to her was exercise, eat less, dont do  this, do this, join gym, go for running, go for work what you hate working, no time for yourself, no one to talk to, only anger….building up… And then feeling nothing… Completely numb to everything..

 

 

Numb by Linkin Park.

 

I’m tired of being what you want me to be..
Feeling so faithless..lost under the surface..
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me..
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes..
Every step that I take is another mistake to you..

I’ve become so numb…I can’t feel you there..
Become so tired..so much more aware..
I’m becoming this..all I want to do..
Is be more like ME…and be less like you..

Can’t you see that you’re smothering me..
Holding too tightly..afraid to lose control..
‘Cause everything that you thought I would be..
Has fallen apart right in front of you..

Every step that I take is another mistake to you..
And every second I waste is more than I can take..
I’ve become so numb.. I can’t feel you there..

And I know..
I may end up failing too…
But I know..
You were just like me…with someone disappointed in you…

I’ve become so numb..I can’t feel you there…
Become so tired..so much more aware…
I’m becoming this.. all I want to do..
Is be more like ME…and be less like you..

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisement